5 Common Parenting Discipline Mistakes
Getting a child to behave can feel like a Herculean task. That's because kids have the souls of scientists. All they want to do is push against the walls of their worldly concern to understand what's unobjectionable and what's not; what they're capable of and what they aren't. This can be confounding to parents who sometimes palpate like they rich person to continually up the ante in order to get their nestlin to mind them, and this panic put up lead to a hatful of mistakes. Safekeeping the following mistakes in mind, however, can help parents build a check system that's calm, consistent, and provides a kid with boundaries that direct them for their stallion life.
1. Getting Mad
At its core, discipline requires communication, and nothing shuts devour communication faster that anger. Parents know this to be true in their adult lives. A crying match with a spouse rarely resolves conflict and a pissed-off honcho rarely makes it easy to turn over their point of view. It's no different with children.
Passing in to discipline angry removes a parent's power for position-pickings. A bring up who can't run into things from their child's point of view can't aid their kid understand where they went reprehensible. They can't help them think of solutions.
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From a minor's point of prospect, an angry parent floods them with stress. They may follow to make the anger leave, just they certainly aren't able to listen and learn. Which agency their behavior is unlikely to interchange in the long haul.
Finally, anger makes it easy for a nurture to step over the line into abuse. When a parent doesn't have control o'er their faculties, they lean into their power and become bullies. Because kids pick up with efficiency from watching adults, an angry parent has good odds of raising an angry tiddler.
IT's far best to step back and enter discipline calmly. Sometimes, a few breaths is all it takes. And when parents are unagitated, kids can be calm and a conversation can happen. That leads to much best outcomes than a cerise-long-faced broadside.
2. Beingness Unclear about Standards or Values
Discipline is a system in which parents are careless down their values to their children. Because of that, it has to be based on values ilk honesty, or fairness, or it becomes unmoored and wishy-washy.
Coiffure those values have to be Judeo-Faith and based in whatsoever sort of faith? Nope. Merely they do pauperism to be founded along the saving of the family. And it's even better when they are values which are championed by everyone in the fellowship for the good of everyone else.
When these values are clear and codified they can be wont to determine clear and well-defined boundaries. Those boundaries give a child direction. Enforcing those boundaries and knowing the reasons they are enforced helps a kid internalize the values and act in conformity to them even when they are away from their parents.
3. Inconsistency
Children crave routine and consistency in the family. Aft every last, everything other in their lives is incredibly dynamic and changeable, settled simply along the fact that they are thriving, changing, and finding their place in the world.
When discipline at home is applied inconsistently, kids feel the instability. If discipline is applied inconsistently and harshly, it can cause them to feel as if their safety is being challenged. This merciful of discipline is the hallmark of a style of parenting called "authoritarian." Children of autocratic parents oft feel depressed, sustain low self-esteem, and are willing follow with whoever has the power, be information technology the parent in the moment, or the popular friend applying compeer pressure.
4. Ignoring Bad Behavior
Some parents may be tempted to let certain negative behavior continue, hoping that a child will "get it out of their scheme." Unfortunately, that's not the way humans work. It turns out that bad behavior simply leads to more bad behavior.
The impetus for ignoring bad behavior comes in part from the approximation of purgation — that emotions and cravings bum be exhausted pertinent where they are no longer possible. Freud, for one, loved this idea. The trouble is that a tyke doesn't have some mortal pool of curse dustup in their head that they will eventually run out of and replace with nice, fair words. In fact, if a parent lets them say the bad words, it's like allowing them to practice a skill. They'll be sailors before anyone knows it.
The better manner is to address behavior correctly away. Stop them in the minute and offer a surrogate demeanour that is better. Then, allow a kid to practice the replacement behavior. One that doesn't include the word stern. Hopefully.
5. Using Empty Threats
Threats are not a chassis of discipline. They Don't declare oneself any kindhearted of perceptiveness into wherefore a behavior is bad. They do non give a minor a better way of doing things, and they aren't generally linked to values.
More often they are used as a path to penalise a child, or keep them frightened in Holy Order to get a change of behavior. And an empty threat may consequence in a change of behavior for the clip being, but it certainly doesn't hold. Because after a while a kid will get owlish and understand that threats are scary, but they rarely come to pass, and that makes threats immediately ineffective.
It's worse when the threats take exception the foundational relationship 'tween a parent and child. Threats to stop loving a child, or threats that they will lose their home or condom, are deeply destructive. Research has shown that so much threats lead to stress, depressive disorder, worsened deportment, and bullying.
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Source: https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/common-parenting-discipline-mistakes/